15 Essential Things Every Parent Needs to Know About Big Kids

Having seen my kids grow through this stage, I can tell you that understanding and supporting them through this time is key. 

I like this because, as children grow up, kids explore more independence, and they also need guidance from their parents. This can be a tricky balance, but with some practical tips, you can ensure a positive experience for both you and your child.

Understanding the "Big Kid" Phase

So, what exactly are "big kids"? This term typically refers to children between the ages of 8 and 12, a group that includes preteens and tweens. The age group is at a transition point between childhood and adolescence. 

During these years, children are going through a lot of physical and emotional growth. They are starting to develop their personalities, interests, and beliefs, but they are still highly dependent on their parents for support and guidance.

Parents of older children often face new parenting challenges and understanding the changes these kids are going through is crucial. When I was parenting older children, I quickly learned that providing the right balance of independence and guidance can be a fine line. Here’s what every parent of a big kid needs to know.

1. Physical Development: Growth Spurts and Changes

One of the most noticeable changes during these years is physical growth. You may notice your child’s clothes starting to get tight or their shoes no longer fit. 

Big kids experience rapid growth spurts, and it’s not uncommon for them to gain several inches in height within a stint. I have seen this in my own children – one day their pants fit, and the next, they’re too short.

These physical changes can also bring signs of puberty, such as increased body odour, acne, and a greater interest in personal hygiene. 

Encourage your child to maintain hygiene habits and consider starting conversations about puberty. 

I like this because it allows for honest discussions and can help reduce any confusion your child might have about these changes.

2. Cognitive Development: Expanding Minds

As their bodies grow, so do their minds. During this time, your child’s cognitive development takes a leap. Their thinking becomes more complex, and they start to grasp more complicated ideas. 

They may begin to develop stronger opinions and want to explore new topics that interest them, such as science, history, or art.

I have tested this with my own kids by exposing them to different books and activities. You might notice that they ask more questions about the world around them. They are curious about how things function and the reasons behind them.

This is the perfect time to encourage their curiosity. Take them to museums, have conversations at the dinner table, or give them a set of books that match their interests. By fostering their love of learning, you are helping build a firm foundation for their future.

3. Emotional Development: Navigating Big Feelings

With physical changes come emotional changes. Big kids experience a wide range of emotions, and sometimes, they can’t fully explain why they feel the way they do. 

You might notice mood swings, where your child goes from being happy to suddenly feeling sad or angry. It’s important to understand that these emotions are part of the growing process.

I like to remind myself that this is a time of emotional discovery. Be patient with your child as they learn how to manage their feelings. I’ve found that teaching them to express emotions constructively can make an enormous difference. 

I often sit down with my child and say things like, “I can see you're upset. Let’s talk about what happened,” or “It’s okay to feel angry, but let’s find a way to handle it calmly.” This open communication fosters trust and helps them manage big feelings.

4. Social Development: Expanding Horizons

Big kids are starting to navigate more complex social dynamics. Friendship becomes incredibly important during these years, and your child may want to spend more time with their friends than with you. 

This is a typical aspect of maturation. But don’t worry, your relationship with your child isn’t over – it’s just developing.

Encourage your child to join social activities like sports teams, art clubs, or community organizations. I’ve found that when kids feel confident in their social skills, it boosts their self-esteem. 

Talk to them about peer pressure, and remind them that it’s okay to be themselves, even if they don’t always fit in. Discuss situations they might face, such as peer pressure, and equip them with strategies for standing up for themselves.

5. Independence: Fostering Responsibility

As kids grow older, they crave independence. At this stage, they are ready to take on more responsibilities. Start by giving them appropriate age chores. It could be as simple as making their lunch, doing their laundry, or taking care of a pet. 

I’ve noticed that when I give my children small responsibilities, it makes them feel more grown-up and capable.

Fostering independence also means allowing your child to make some decisions on their own. Let them choose what clothes to wear or what book they want to read next. 

This builds confidence and helps them develop decision-making skills. If you’re wondering about parenting strategies for older kids, focusing on this balance of responsibility and freedom is key.

6. Technology and Media: Striking a Balance

At this stage, big kids are eager to engage with technology. They may ask for their own social media accounts, want to spend hours playing video games, or spend time texting their friends. It's tough to draw the line, but it’s important to set boundaries around screen time.

I’ve implemented a family media plan at home, where we agree on when and where screens can be used. I also talk to my kids about the importance of internet safety and how to handle things like cyberbullying. 

Ensure to discuss what’s appropriate for them to watch and do online and encourage other activities that don’t involve screens. Setting clear boundaries will help your child learn to manage their digital life responsibly.

7. Education: Supporting Academic Growth

School is becoming more challenging for older children. The workload increases with more tests, homework, and projects. One thing I’ve found helpful is creating a structured homework routine. 

A muted, well-lit study space is essential for them to focus on and get their work done. Stay involved in their education by keeping in touch with their teachers. If you observe your child having difficulties, don't hesitate to seek assistance. 

Also, encourage your child to ask questions when they don’t understand something. This helps them develop problem-solving skills and teaches them to take responsibility for their learning.

8. Physical Activity: Encouraging Healthy Habits

Physical activity is important for big kids. It helps them build strength, stay healthy, and burn off excess energy. Encourage them to participate in physical activities like sports or outdoor play. 

I’ve found that when kids are involved in physical activity, they feel better and are more focused in school.

Make it fun! Organize family outings like hikes, bike rides, or park visits. Physical activity isn’t just about exercise – it’s about fostering a love for movement that will last a lifetime.

9. Nutrition: Fueling Growing Bodies

As your child grows, their body needs the right kind of fuel. Encourage them to eat a balanced diet that includes fruits, vegetables, whole grains, and proteins. 

I always make it a point to involve my kids in meal planning and preparation. When they help cook or choose what’s for dinner, they’re more likely to try new healthy foods.

It’s important to watch for signs of picky eating, as this can often become a phase during the preteen years. Stay patient and continue offering a variety of nutritious foods.

10. Sleep: Ensuring Restful Nights

Good sleep habits are crucial for big kids. They need more sleep than younger children because of their rapid growth and development. I recommend setting a regular bedtime routine and sticking to it as much as possible. 

Make sure their bedroom is a calm and comfortable space to sleep in. Cutting down on screen time before bed is also important, as the blue light from screens can interfere with their sleep. 

Sleep helps with their physical, mental, and emotional well-being.

11. Communication: Keeping the Lines Open

At this stage, it’s crucial to maintain an open line of communication. Make time for one-on-one conversations, even if it’s just a quick chat on the way to school or during dinner. 

Let them know that you’re always there to listen and be sure to approach these conversations with understanding and patience.

I’ve found that when I make time for regular check-ins, my children are more likely to talk to me about their day, their feelings, or any challenges they’re facing. It’s all about creating a safe space where they feel comfortable opening up.

12. Boundaries and Discipline: Consistent Guidance

Clear boundaries and consistent discipline are essential for school-age children. I’ve learned that kids at this age need structure and rules to feel secure. Make sure your child understands what’s expected of them and what will happen if they break the rules.

Use positive reinforcement when they follow the rules and don’t hesitate to adjust boundaries as they get older. Consistency in how you handle discipline is key to maintaining respect and understanding.

13. Mental Health: Nurturing Emotional Well-being

During the tween years, big kids might face emotional pressures from school, friends, or even from inside themselves. Watch for signs of stress, anxiety, or depression, and take them seriously. 

It’s important to teach them healthy ways to cope with these emotions, whether it’s through physical activity, creative expression, or talking it out with a trusted adult.

14. Puberty: Preparing for Changes

Puberty often begins during these years, so it’s an idea to talk to your child about the physical changes they can expect. Discuss body changes, mood swings, and the emotional aspects of growing up. 

Honest conversations can make your child feel more confident and prepared for the changes ahead.

15. Family Time: Strengthening Bonds

Lastly, don’t forget about the importance of family time. Even though your older children may want to spend more time with their friends, it’s crucial to continue fostering strong family bonds. 

Plan regular family outings or traditions, like family dinners, movie nights, or weekend adventures. These moments of connection help your child feel supported and loved, no matter how independent they become.

Conclusion

Parenting big kids is a rewarding journey, but it comes with its fair share of challenges. As your child grows physically, emotionally, and socially, it’s important to provide them with the right guidance and support. 

By fostering open communication, encouraging independence, and setting clear boundaries, you can help your growing kids thrive during this exciting stage.

As I’ve seen in my parenting journey, every adolescent is unique, and there’s no one-size-fits-all approach. Stay patient, flexible, and most importantly, enjoy these years. Before you know it, they’ll be teenagers, and you’ll be facing a whole new set of parenting challenges.

Happy parenting!

Recommended Reading

• Activities for Big Kids
• Health Information for Kids